Thursday

Guest Post - What is True For You?



Today's guest post is from Kimber Nelson, a certified Life Coach and Family Volley Sponsor.

Kimer challenges us to focus on the positive and evaluate why we "do what we do".
One of the great things about coaching is that I am always learning, and no matter how much I know, there is always value in others perspectives and experiences.
But...here's the thing...there is still no one else who has had your unique life experiences, your support system, your challenges and your strengths.

What I do know is that Coaching provides a safe place to explore and build goals and habits that will create YOUR ideal life. There is no requirement for what the ideal life looks like. Only that you are able to show up as the real YOU, with passion and joy in the every day living.
This is exactly why no one can give you a blueprint on how to get there, but I can absolutely help you find the awareness of what YOUR ideal life looks like and support you in taking action on your journey.

I want to share some ideas on living a more balanced life and reducing the overwhelming and stressful feelings we all deal with.

Focus on the Positive - there is always a tendency to assume that if we expend our energy on "fixing" problems, that once we are "fixed", everything else will fall into place. We end up focusing on the negative in everything, and once you start looking for issues, you are guaranteed to find them!

Here is the fabulous part - the reverse is also true. When you focus on the positive you will find evidence of it everywhere. The more evidence of something you have, the more you end up trusting that it is true and it starts to build. When you see the positive, things that used to need "fixing" feel more like opportunities for adjustment.

Turn "Have to's" into "Want to's" - A great way to focus on the positive is to take some time to discover your values and why you do the things you do. This will turn something from an energy drain into a more supportive place. You might also find that the reason that you do something is because you acquired a "have to" from someone else (like your parents).
If it does not fit into what YOU want in your life, then it may not be worth putting energy or time into anymore.

A great example of this is...Chores around the house.
Ask yourself the following questions.

Why do I want my house kept a certain way?
Is there value to it for me and my family? Is there added tension about chores being done a certain way? Is is worth it?
Was I told along the way that certain things HAD to be done? How true is that for me?
Are there things that I am okay letting go of?

Now, I am not advocating just letting the house disintegrate into piles upon piles. What I am promoting is becoming aware of the "why's". Perhaps your "why" for keeping the house clean is because you get a feeling of serenity when you walk in the door, which is a great motivating "want to".

Take a minute to think about why you do what you do?
How often are we doing things to meet other's expectations? 

Kimber Nelson is certified as a Professional LIfe Coach through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching and as an ADHD Life Coach. Kimber works with parents, adults teens and college students with ADHD who are looking to live a less stressful, more balanced life. 

3 comments:

  1. Wonderful advice! Small changes that I need to be more consistent about!

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  2. I am know thinking about why dust bunnies don't seem to matter until I find really large ones

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  3. I loved this post but I do have one question? Now what? I spend plenty of time evaluating myself and my intentions and read plenty of articles and books about how to evaluate your life but I don't seem to know what to do from there. For example, I love a clean house for two reasons, one, it makes me happy and I feel less stressed, and two, I pressure myself to impress others with the state of my house. So how do I find a balance? And how do I accept that with two toddlers and a husband whose definition of clean is way different than mine, my house isn't going to be that clean? Sorry, if that was completely random. I am trying to be more positive and I liked her suggestions.

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Hi Hi! It always makes my day to hear what you have to say. Let's keep this conversation going. Thank you for your comments. Don't want to leave a comment here, email me at blog.familyvolley@gmail.com.

 
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