How To Be A "Fun Mom"

Last week our daughter was putting on her shoes. Out of the blue she looked up and said,

"Mom, sorry to say, but Dad is more fun than you".

Yep, that's what she said. Let's be honest, it hurt a little.

My husband was in the room and said to our daughter, "You don't know your mom very well then, because she is the most fun person I know." (It was nice of him to say, hope it wasn't a token gesture.)

It's true. My husband is the fun one. He is all about fun. He doesn't worry about rules or schedules too much and is much more easy going than I am. I am more practical. I think I feel like I have to be because he is so easy going. I think I have become more practical to keep a balance.

A good example, Bedtime. I stick to bedtime. I enforce it. We read books and have fun, but we get it done, on time.

My husband's idea of bedtime is reading 20 books, and turning the lights out 2 hours late because they have played hide and seek and wrestled on the bed.

I know, I know, his way sounds more fun to me also.

I have a hard time letting go of the responsibility. I am fun, I have the thoughts and the promptings to be fun, but sometimes it can be really hard to actually "be fun".

I feel like I have been less fun lately. As our kids get older and life gets busier, maybe I have traded in some of the "fun", for the "getting it all done."

Since our daughter's comment, I have made a conscious effort to be more myself, and have more fun. I want my kids to know that I enjoy being a mom. Because I really do. I love it.

Want to be a FUN MOM? Here are some things we can do...

This girl is just like her dad. All about fun...all the time!

#1 Way to be a FUN MOM- Spend time with your kids. That will make you the most fun mom on the planet!!! 

Then...


Let Your Guard Down - RELAX!
Stop worrying about looking silly, sounding silly, or being perfect. Relax and smile. They are our kids, they are not judging us, just looking for us to love them and spend time with them. Living life up-tight, is not really living life.

Use Your Strengths - Be Yourself
I can fold a mean paper airplane and make a perfect cootie catcher. I shared this with our kids and they thought it was the coolest thing ever. It is a secret talent of mine. They thought I was so fun. I am also really good at cartwheels. Last week I demonstrated my cartwheel abilities to the kids. They were in awe. They are easy to please, but still. They thought I was fun. :)  I am also pretty good in the kitchen, and can color a mean picture.  I like to outline all the pictures and then color lighter inside the outline. The kids think that style is really cool.

It's not about what other moms are doing, or about doing it all. We don't have to be something we are not. Instead, look at your strengths and talents and use them to your advantage. What do/did you like to do? What are you good at?

I am not really comfortable talking in silly voices. I love the make believe and pretend, just not the silly changing of voices part. I always felt guilty because I didn't like talking silly with my kids. I shouldn't feel bad. So it's not one of my strengths. I have lots of other strengths. It's okay.

Use your talents, even if they are off the wall, goofy or silly.

As a kid, I had a talent/skill for jumping up on a shopping cart and riding it forever. So every time I push a shopping cart, I want to jump up on the back and take a little ride. Why not? So last week I started to jog with the cart, jumped up on the back and took a little ride with the kids. Our two oldest were running along side. You should have seen them laugh. Our son got in the car and said, "How did you get so good at that." Lot's of practice in the Scolari's Parking Lot. Yep, I know how to do lots of fun stuff.

My mom can make the coolest monkey face. I don't know how to explain it, but it's good. I used to think it was so cool when she did the face. It was one of her secret little talents, and I loved when she shared it with us. Now our kids think grandma's monkey face is cool too.

Be Spontaneous-Break the Rules
Do something out of the ordinary. Read extra books at bed time, have hot chocolate after teeth are brushed, stay up to watch a movie, an unplanned trip to the park, let your child have a bowl of cereal before bed, eat dessert first, jump on the couch. Say yes when you would normally say no. It's okay.

What can you do today, that is unexpected?

Follow Along
Watch what your kids are doing, and follow along.  Play house, color, swing, chase around the house. Follow their lead, and not only will they think you are fun, but you will really have fun. Are they acting silly, then act silly. We sometimes worry about what we are going to do with our kids. No worries, they will take care of that part for us.

I learned this lesson today. Our two oldest kids have been playing this game they made up.
Our son will say our daughters name, trying to get her to say "what"
When she says "what", he says, "you're in a bug".
She tries to do the same to him.

Yeah, it makes no sense at all, but they play it non-stop.

I was getting frustrated with the game. No one was getting anything done and enough was enough. But... Instead of nagging for the game to end (nagging moms are not fun moms), I said our son's name tonight. When he said "what", I said, "you're in a bug".
At first he was shocked, then they both laughed and laughed. We played for a few more minutes, and then they naturally stopped. All they needed was some validation, for me to play along. And just between you and me, it was actually really fun. :) I followed their lead and played along. In this case, it was also spontaneous, and they were not expecting me to jump in.

 Turn on the Tunes - Dance
Want to be more fun? Move. Dance. Jive. Boogie. Unlike our friends in high school, Kids don't judge your dance moves. They don't care.

I have made it a secret goal this year to dance with at least one of our kids everyday. (Guess it's not a secret anymore). Yesterday I danced with our 8 month old in my arms in front of the mirror. She loved it! Today I grabbed our daughters arms and started to twirl her in the kitchen. When my husband came home tonight, she ran to him to tell him how much fun we had dancing around.

When was the last time you danced with your kids?

Don't Multitask
Want to be more fun? Stop trying to do more than one thing at a time. Being with our children becomes frustrating when we are also trying to make dinner, check Pinterest, and fold laundry. All of a sudden, it feels like our kids are hindering us from what we are trying to do and we don't enjoy our time together. That isn't very fun. One thing at a time.

Say "Yes"
As mom's we can find ourselves saying "no" an awful lot. That doesn't make us very fun. "No's" are necessary, but we should try to say "yes" as much as we can. This is hard for me. "Mom, can I have another piece of gum?" I want to say no. They don't need it, they already had one, it isn't necessary. BUT... will it really hurt if they have a second piece sometimes? Of course not.

Sometimes I have an agenda, that I feel is the best, and our kids want to do things in a different order, and I want to say "No". Fact of the matter, does the order really matter? Usually it doesn't. So think about the 90/10 rule and apply it to "yes and no." Can you say "yes" 90% of the time?

What can you say "yes" to today?

Laugh
Laughter is great medicine. Want your kids to think you are really fun? Laugh with them. Having trouble laughing? Put a smile on your face for starters. You will be more fun when you smile, and then you will laugh.

I often have the thought, "I can't have fun with you, because then things won't get done around here". Nothing could be farther from the truth. When I have fun with our kids, more gets done, I feel better and so do they. And...they are more likely to help with a willing attitude which lightens my load.

Now, let's all go be FUN MOMS.

Are you a FUN MOM? What do you do?
What is your secret talent?

Home for the Holidays-Family Activities

The kids will be out of school in a day or two. That means they will be home all day, ready for some holiday fun. It is a great time of year to draw closer to one another, serve others and have some fun. I put together a list of 21 of our favorite ideas for family fun. Put them on your list and check them twice.

Don't miss my favorites: #2, #3, #4, #9, #12, #14, #16, #17, #19. I have lots of favorites. Wink.

**If you have an advent calendar, why not replace some of the candy and treats with slips of paper that list some of these fun family activities. Your kids will love the time together. **

1. Family Movie Night. Watch a favorite Christmas movie together. Don’t forget the popcorn.

2. Drive around town and look at Christmas lights. Take a little treat for the house with the "Best Christmas Lights". Leave it on their porch with a little note. Make hot chocolate for everyone and take it with you to drink as you go. Make sure the cups have lids to avoid the spills. The paper cups with lids that they sell at the grocery store work great. 

3. Read about holiday traditions around the world. Teach your children where their ancestors came from and learn about the traditions there. You could even make a traditional treat from the country. It is very easy to find recipes on line.

4. Make Christmas sugar cookies. Let the kids help decorate. Even your little ones can help. Not only can they decorate, but frost also. Just have them use the back of a spoon instead of a knife.

5. Bake a treat (like the cookies above) and deliver them to a few of your neighbors.

6. Go caroling. While you're delivering the cookies to your neighbors sing them a little song. It might put your family a little out of their comfort zone, but it a great opportunity for your family to do something hard together. And it will provide a lot of laughs.

7. Write letters to Santa. Drop them off at your local mall. 

8. Make Rice Krispie Treats, or popcorn balls. Add crushed pieces of candy cane to make them festive.

9. Make ornaments for the birds. Simple sugar cookies will work. Before you bake them, take a straw and put a little hole toward the top. Make sure it is big enough to not close up when they bake. Over-bake them so they are brown and crispy. String a thread through the hole and let the kids hang them outside in your trees. Be sure you put them by a window so your kids can watch the birds eat. We like to spread ours with peanut butter once they cool. The birds love it. You could also pick up some pinecones from outside and cover those in peanut butter, then hang them. If you have birdseed lying around, roll the peanut butter cones in seeds before you hang them.

10. Have a little outside snow party. Bundle up and sit on the porch and drink hot chocolate.

11. Have a hot chocolate party. Make a few different types of hot chocolate and let everyone decide what they want to put in theirs. Candy canes, shaved chocolate pieces, sprinkles, mint extract, whipped cream. The possibilities are endless.

12. Ask the kids to collect all the toys they don’t like or play with any more. Donate them to kids in need. Take the kids with you to make the donation. It will make a big impression on them. This will also help un-clutter your house. You can also do a Sub for Santa and provide Christmas for another family. 

13. Visit the senior citizens center or local hospital and sing to the patients. Be sure you call first to find out what their policies are.

14. Turn on some holiday music and play Freeze Dance. You kids will love it. You control the music, when you turn it on, your kids dance around the room however they want. When you stop the music they have to freeze and stay in the position. Have everyone look around and laugh as they look at the silly faces and positions everyone has found themselves in. It doesn’t matter the age, all kids “feel” music and will move with it. Our kids could play this for hours. You can get active also. Instead of sitting while they play. Get up and dance with them.

15. Make a paper chain to countdown to Christmas. Just link strips of paper together and have the kids take one off each day until Santa makes his appearance.

16. Make gingerbread houses. We have made this a family tradition. Grandma, grandpa, aunts, uncles and cousins alike. We are doing this tomorrow. I will post pictures and give you the best cement frosting recipe ever.

17. Head to your local library and check out a bunch of holiday books. Read a different one each night before bed. Or, sit down for a little read-a-thon and read all of them at one time. This could be a great Christmas Eve tradition. Don’t forget the popcorn and hot chocolate.

18. Help your kids make homemade gifts for the family. It doesn’t have to be fancy. Let them get creative. 

19. Don’t want to make the gifts. Take each of the kids to the mall for their own little shopping trip. Or better yet, take them to the dollar store and let them shop for family members. They can choose what ever they want and you don’t have to tell them no because it is too expensive.

20. When it snows, build a snowman. Go sledding. Make snow angels.

21. Make Rice Krispie Treat Trees. Make regular rice krispie treats but add some green food coloring to the melted marshmallow. Add the crisp cereal and spread evenly in a 9x13 inch pan. While they are still warm, use a tree shaped cookie cutter to cut out the trees. Have some little candies like M&M’s ready and let the kids decorate the trees. 

WHICH ACTIVITIES WILL YOUR FAMILY ENJOY?
DO YOU HAVE ANY FAVORITES WE SHOULD ADD TO THE LIST?

Something Went Right Today

I have this routine at the end of everyday. As I lay in bed I think about how I did as a mom that day. Was I patient, kind, sensitive? Did I work hard, fulfill responsibilities? You know, was today acceptable? Usually the answer is a loud and clear,

Argh, You Can Do Better!!! Not usually, always.

One thing that I have been working on is being more spontaneous, more fun. I am the one that is always thinking about the responsibilities and what needs to be done. My husband on the other hand, is the one who is always ready for no responsibility and lots of fun. Our kids know that. I didn't even have to tell them.

Tonight as a climb into bed, although there will be plenty of "You can do better", This morning something went right.

While doing my daughters hair, she asked if I would teach her how to do a ponytail, by herself.

My first thought, not today, we don't have time. Tuesdays are our busy days, not to mention my plate was extra full finishing all the end of the semester grading. Ponytails were not on the agenda.

She asked again, only this time with her eyes. Eyes that begged to spend some time, just us. I couldn't deny the eyes.

So for the next two hours we practiced and practiced and practiced. We laughed, we sang, we made up stories. I learned a lot about her, the time flew by, we had fun.

I was again reminded, the agenda doesn't matter, but the child does.

And when all was said and done, her ponytails weren't too bad either.