Monday

Tips to Being a Happy Mom

Artwork by Katie Daisy. You can buy the print and others in her etsy shop thewheatfield.

Being a mom is tough. Being a mom is even harder when we are miserable.

Being a Happy mom not only makes our lives better, but it makes our families happier also.

Here are 8 things that Happy Moms have in common.

1. Happy Moms Avoid Comparisons
As mothers and women we have a tendency to compare ourselves to others. If we want to be happy, we have to stop. We are usually comparing our weaknesses and shortcoming to someone else's strengths. It is not a fair comparison. And, when we compare, we foster feelings of jealousy and envy. Those feelings will make us miserable. There will always be someone skinnier, with a cleaner house and with kids that seem more behaved. Always. SO what...comparing will not make us skinner, or our house cleaner. Don't waste energy on comparing.
It is the same with our children. Don't compare our kids to others. When we do, we miss all the magic that is in each of our own children. We overlook how wonderful and unique they are. And we put unfair pressure on them.
When we find ourselves longing for someone else's life, sit down with a piece of paper and pen and start listing all the things you are thankful for. List all the blessings in your life. When you feel yourself starting to compare again, get out the paper and re-read all that you are thankful for. We will quickly realize how blessed we really are.
The other thing we can do to stop the comparing is to serve others. Serving others brings humility and helps us recognize our many blessings.
Lastly, we have to be careful with social media. It is easy to read about all the recipes and refinished furniture and beautifully sewn cloths and feel inadequate. Just because we don't do all those things, doesn't mean we are less. Nor should we compare ourselves to all the "ideal" posts we read.

2. Happy Moms Stop Worrying
I am very guilty of this. I am a worrier. It causes stress, and then I am not happy. It will take practice, but think about it this way: If you can't change it or control it, then there is no need to worry about it. Instead think about what you can control and put your efforts there. The other thing we can do to stop worrying is to turn off the news. I watch the news filled with all the negative and horrible and I worry more.

3. Happy Moms Recognize Their Worth.
There comes a time when we have to accept ourselves, as is. We need to love ourselves. Instead of wondering what we are good for, we need to know that our role is THE most important role. We are raising and influencing future generations. We are primarily responsible for nurturing little human beings. It doesn't get more important than that. Even if we don't have children of our own, there is nothing that compares to a women's loving influence.
Take a minute and write down all the things that you are good at. Don't be shy, write them down. Maybe you are a good friend, patient, a talented seamstress, or creative. Own them, find strength in your strengths and use them to help others. The sooner we can recognize our true worth, the happier we will be.

4. Happy Moms Have Faith and Pray
The act of being faithful, in and of itself raises our spirits and gives us hope. Hope is happy and healing. Couple that hope with prayer and the sun will shine happy rays. :) Even on the worst of days, having faith that we are trying our best and that tomorrow will be better, can help us feel happy today.
Prayer can help us lead happier lives also. It gives us a chance to express gratitude and ask for help. When we pray, be specific. Yesterday I prayed that I could be more creative with our 3 year old. Lately she has wanted me to play zoo, and make animal sounds. Sometimes that is hard for me, so I asked for help. Pray for more time with your family, pray for stamina to get through a long day. Sometimes my prayers are that I can get through the next 15 minutes. Happy moms have faith. For me, faith helps because I know that I am never alone.

5. Happy Moms Choose Good Friends.
We are quick to preach this to our children, but do we realize how important it is for us. We need to surround ourselves with people who lift us up, who believe in us, and who support us. Avoid relationships that are one sided and draining. We want friends who don't compare, who revel in our successes and who believe in lifting others up, not putting others down. That is also the type of friend we want to be for others.

6. Happy Moms Make Time For Themselves
As mothers and women, we tend to take care of ourselves last. I have caught myself more than once saying "when the kids are older then I will have time for....". We need to stop thinking like that. We should find some time for ourselves to cultivate our gifts and interests. Pick one or two things that you would like to learn to do that will enrich your life, and make time for them. It is not selfish.

7. Happy Moms Simplify
We need to clean up and clear out. Take a look at your schedule and make sure it is not too full. Don't over schedule our kids, or ourselves. Juggling a million things doesn't make us better moms with cooler kids. It just stresses us out. We are not happy when we are stressed. Our kids only need one or two extra activities, same with us as moms.
We should simplify our homes also. Too many clothes and toys in our homes and cars add stress. It can become overwhelming to manage so much stuff. Simplify. Cut down to what is manageable and spend less time keeping up with all the stuff, and more time with those you love, doing things you want to do and being happy.

8. Happy Moms Laugh and Smile
Laughing and Smiling naturally brings happiness. Let your face light up and let out a giggle. In fact, smile at someone else and watch their face light up. We can get so rushed and serious that we forget to be happy. So even if you have to force it at first, smile.

ARE YOU A HAPPY MOM?
DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH ANY OF THESE?
WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU ADD TO THE LIST?


11 comments:

  1. Thank you so much. Your posts always seem to be just what I need to hear. I've been struggling with "how do I play with my 5-year-old?" I just feel like I don't have any imagination, and doing the same thing over and over drives me bonkers sometimes. I'm going to try to pray for help more and "be a joyful mother of children." (Not sure where that quote is from, but I love it.) Thanks again!

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  2. Ugh, I had the worst day on Saturday. I was disappointed with how my kids were acting, I was furious at my husband for making me move (we made the decision together...!), I was fat, I was ugly, I was stupid, I was sick of working and sick of being a mom. It was just all around an awful day. I spent most of the day fighting off tears. Now I'm bookmarking this post to remind myself to just be happy. We're all healthy, we have a home, everything is just fine. Thanks for the reminders and how-to's. Sometimes I forget.

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    1. Good luck, we have all been there, moves are stressfull

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  3. I was actually just thinking about this today. My mom keeps asking me if I am happy, I guess because it seems to her like I am not or something. So I have been asking myself if I am happy. I would say that I am not as happy as I should or could be. I am doing all that is on your list. But the two things I would add that really make me most happy are: 1) Happy Moms work out. I haven't been doing this. I need to. Physical exercise is good for our mental well being. I think it is even more important for our mental well being than our physical. I have simply GOT to get going on this. Even if it is just to run around the block once.

    2) Happy moms serve others. I know we as moms serve others all day (our kids and hubby), but I find I am get a great deal of happiness out of serving others to whom I am not duty bound to do service. Volunteering at the school, helping a friend with her kids, making dinner for a family in need -- helping someone outside my normal "duties" really increases my happiness.

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  4. Ladies, so glad the post was helpful. Thanks for the suggestions. Love them. Happy moms don't judge, Danielle, your right.

    Stephanie, I agree with you. Exercise does more for me mentally than physically too. Now to find time. That always seems to be the challenge, right?

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  5. This is a great post, however, I can't help but wonder why you failed to credit Katie Daisy for her fantastic artwork. The print can be purchased in her etsy shop: The Wheatfield.

    Here's the link: http://www.etsy.com/listing/61896762/lg-format-joy-print

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    1. Mandi, thank you SO MUCH for letting me know. I had just found the image on Google Images. I will make the additional note right now.

      Thanks again.

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  6. How to be a Happy Mom, was sooo inspiring to me, and such a great reminder that these things are GREATLY appreciated by our happy children.. I've kind of gotten carried away, reading all of your topics, and let me just say, your wisdom and kindness for sharing, is a blessing, so Thank you!

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  7. Hello,

    My wife and I have been married for 15 years. For over five years I have been dealing with jealousy issues because of flirting and her having emotional type affairs with other men. I felt like my masculinity was in question and if I said the way she was acting bothered me, it seemed to make matters worse or I was accused of being controling. During this period I did state I wanted a divorce if the behavior was not going to end: texting men a night, leaving for the weekend without letting me know where she was going or not responding to messages. We do have a son and basically it's been him and I for the last year on the weekends. She disconnected completely from being a good wife and mother. In April she said she wanted a separation and I said no we need to get into marriage counseling. We did try that, but she was not very responsive and didn't give any effort. Afterward she was adamant about separation and divorce. I continued to say no and that we needed to save our family. She presented a separation agreement and I had to hire a lawyer. Because of the above behavior my lawyer suggested a private investigator. The investigator discovered my wife was having an affair with a close friend of the family who also is married with children. We know the extended families. I feel like I should tell this man's wife about what happened. This adultery has devastated me emotionally, I feel betrayed and I'm physically drained. I know my wife is passionate in terms of her sexuality, and I can't get the thought of them out of my head. It makes me question my own manhood, and I feel very inferior or that he must be a better lover or what ever. The problem is my wife pursued him. She would go to him and she lured him into this adultery. I felt this was coming for some time and could not stop it. She was not only lying to me but also to our son about what she was doing and where she was going. My family is important, my son loves her and as crazy as it sounds so do I. Can you respond with a course of action on how to proceed? I was still have a very huge place in my heart for her. so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Ahmed can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my wife came to me and apologized for the wrongs she did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I, my son and my wife are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Ahmed. as it is a place to resolve marriage/relationship issues, do you want to be sure if your spouse is being faithful to you or Do you want your Ex to come back to you Contact.: E-mail: Ahmedutimate@gmail.com or call/Whats-app: +2348160153829 save your crumbling home and change of grades its 100% safe. I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you.
    David L. Ollis, 43yrs, UK

    ReplyDelete

Hi Hi! It always makes my day to hear what you have to say. Let's keep this conversation going. Thank you for your comments. Don't want to leave a comment here, email me at blog.familyvolley@gmail.com.

 
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