"Mom, sorry to say, but Dad is more fun than you".
Yep, that's what she said. Let's be honest, it hurt a little.
My husband was in the room and said to our daughter, "You don't know your mom very well then, because she is the most fun person I know." (It was nice of him to say, hope it wasn't a token gesture.)
It's true. My husband is the fun one. He is all about fun. He doesn't worry about rules or schedules too much and is much more easy going than I am. I am more practical. I think I feel like I have to be because he is so easy going. I think I have become more practical to keep a balance.
A good example, Bedtime. I stick to bedtime. I enforce it. We read books and have fun, but we get it done, on time.
My husband's idea of bedtime is reading 20 books, and turning the lights out 2 hours late because they have played hide and seek and wrestled on the bed.
I know, I know, his way sounds more fun to me also.
I have a hard time letting go of the responsibility. I am fun, I have the thoughts and the promptings to be fun, but sometimes it can be really hard to actually "be fun".
I feel like I have been less fun lately. As our kids get older and life gets busier, maybe I have traded in some of the "fun", for the "getting it all done."
Since our daughter's comment, I have made a conscious effort to be more myself, and have more fun. I want my kids to know that I enjoy being a mom. Because I really do. I love it.
Want to be a FUN MOM? Here are some things we can do...
This girl is just like her dad. All about fun...all the time!
#1 Way to be a FUN MOM- Spend time with your kids. That will make you the most fun mom on the planet!!!
Let Your Guard Down - RELAX!
Stop worrying about looking silly, sounding silly, or being perfect. Relax and smile. They are our kids, they are not judging us, just looking for us to love them and spend time with them. Living life up-tight, is not really living life.
Use Your Strengths - Be Yourself
I can fold a mean paper airplane and make a perfect cootie catcher. I shared this with our kids and they thought it was the coolest thing ever. It is a secret talent of mine. They thought I was so fun. I am also really good at cartwheels. Last week I demonstrated my cartwheel abilities to the kids. They were in awe. They are easy to please, but still. They thought I was fun. :) I am also pretty good in the kitchen, and can color a mean picture. I like to outline all the pictures and then color lighter inside the outline. The kids think that style is really cool.
It's not about what other moms are doing, or about doing it all. We don't have to be something we are not. Instead, look at your strengths and talents and use them to your advantage. What do/did you like to do? What are you good at?
I am not really comfortable talking in silly voices. I love the make believe and pretend, just not the silly changing of voices part. I always felt guilty because I didn't like talking silly with my kids. I shouldn't feel bad. So it's not one of my strengths. I have lots of other strengths. It's okay.
Use your talents, even if they are off the wall, goofy or silly.
As a kid, I had a talent/skill for jumping up on a shopping cart and riding it forever. So every time I push a shopping cart, I want to jump up on the back and take a little ride. Why not? So last week I started to jog with the cart, jumped up on the back and took a little ride with the kids. Our two oldest were running along side. You should have seen them laugh. Our son got in the car and said, "How did you get so good at that." Lot's of practice in the Scolari's Parking Lot. Yep, I know how to do lots of fun stuff.
My mom can make the coolest monkey face. I don't know how to explain it, but it's good. I used to think it was so cool when she did the face. It was one of her secret little talents, and I loved when she shared it with us. Now our kids think grandma's monkey face is cool too.
Be Spontaneous-Break the Rules
Do something out of the ordinary. Read extra books at bed time, have hot chocolate after teeth are brushed, stay up to watch a movie, an unplanned trip to the park, let your child have a bowl of cereal before bed, eat dessert first, jump on the couch. Say yes when you would normally say no. It's okay.
What can you do today, that is unexpected?
Watch what your kids are doing, and follow along. Play house, color, swing, chase around the house. Follow their lead, and not only will they think you are fun, but you will really have fun. Are they acting silly, then act silly. We sometimes worry about what we are going to do with our kids. No worries, they will take care of that part for us.
I learned this lesson today. Our two oldest kids have been playing this game they made up.
Our son will say our daughters name, trying to get her to say "what"
When she says "what", he says, "you're in a bug".
She tries to do the same to him.
Yeah, it makes no sense at all, but they play it non-stop.
I was getting frustrated with the game. No one was getting anything done and enough was enough. But... Instead of nagging for the game to end (nagging moms are not fun moms), I said our son's name tonight. When he said "what", I said, "you're in a bug".
At first he was shocked, then they both laughed and laughed. We played for a few more minutes, and then they naturally stopped. All they needed was some validation, for me to play along. And just between you and me, it was actually really fun. :) I followed their lead and played along. In this case, it was also spontaneous, and they were not expecting me to jump in.
Turn on the Tunes - Dance
Want to be more fun? Move. Dance. Jive. Boogie. Unlike our friends in high school, Kids don't judge your dance moves. They don't care.
I have made it a secret goal this year to dance with at least one of our kids everyday. (Guess it's not a secret anymore). Yesterday I danced with our 8 month old in my arms in front of the mirror. She loved it! Today I grabbed our daughters arms and started to twirl her in the kitchen. When my husband came home tonight, she ran to him to tell him how much fun we had dancing around.
When was the last time you danced with your kids?
Want to be more fun? Stop trying to do more than one thing at a time. Being with our children becomes frustrating when we are also trying to make dinner, check Pinterest, and fold laundry. All of a sudden, it feels like our kids are hindering us from what we are trying to do and we don't enjoy our time together. That isn't very fun. One thing at a time.
As mom's we can find ourselves saying "no" an awful lot. That doesn't make us very fun. "No's" are necessary, but we should try to say "yes" as much as we can. This is hard for me. "Mom, can I have another piece of gum?" I want to say no. They don't need it, they already had one, it isn't necessary. BUT... will it really hurt if they have a second piece sometimes? Of course not.
Sometimes I have an agenda, that I feel is the best, and our kids want to do things in a different order, and I want to say "No". Fact of the matter, does the order really matter? Usually it doesn't. So think about the 90/10 rule and apply it to "yes and no." Can you say "yes" 90% of the time?
What can you say "yes" to today?
Laughter is great medicine. Want your kids to think you are really fun? Laugh with them. Having trouble laughing? Put a smile on your face for starters. You will be more fun when you smile, and then you will laugh.
I often have the thought, "I can't have fun with you, because then things won't get done around here". Nothing could be farther from the truth. When I have fun with our kids, more gets done, I feel better and so do they. And...they are more likely to help with a willing attitude which lightens my load.
Now, let's all go be FUN MOMS.
Are you a FUN MOM? What do you do?
What is your secret talent?