I lost my groove. I don't really know what my groove is, or exactly what I lost. I just know that over the last few years, through having kids, and some major life stresses, something has been off. An unsettled, who am I, searching for myself, feeling. No one else really knew my groove was gone. I didn't even know at first. But over time I could feel that something has been off.
A month or so ago I attended Breathing Spaces. A retreat for Bloggers. It was a great experience. In the swag bag there was an entry for The Dirty Dash. I had no idea what The Dirty Dash was, so I checked out their website and found that it is a mud race. With obstacles. 5.5 miles of mud and obstacles.
If you recall, a few weeks ago I briefly shared with you how I felt about mud and dirt and the bugs that live in mud and dirt. In case the post wasn't clear, I can't stand it.
Naturally you wouldn't think that I would sign up for a Mud Race, disliking mud and dirt and all. Maybe it was the catchy name of the race, or the bright yellow race registration card with the pig face, or the catchy music on the race video website, but one late night, I took that registration code and typed it into the registration form. I didn't really think it would work, but it did. All of a sudden I was signed up for The Dirty Dash.
I told my husband the next day and he laughed, kindly. He didn't think I would really go through with it. He knows I don't like dirt. I think that is why I did it. Because he said I probably wouldn't and didn't need to. Everyone said I probably wouldn't do it. I knew inside I needed to do something out of the ordinary that pushed me and stretched me and scared me. Something that made me dig down deep.
Side note, besides the mud, I had to run. I haven't run in years. 12 years to be exact. I used to run. Everyday. Every single day but Sundays. Religiously. Running was a part of who I was. It was therapeutic and healing. It helped me clear my mind and made me feel strong physically, spiritually and mentally. That was then.
I needed support, so I called my brother who has experience in these types of things, and who is just all around, one of the coolest guys and the best athlete I have ever seen. I wanted to know if I should expect chaffing.
You know, mud, in neither-regions. I wondered.
Too much information? Sorry.
He loaded me up with advice and then asked who was running with me. "No one, I am running alone". He told me I couldn't do that. He said I needed to find someone to run with, or it wouldn't be any fun at all. Otherwise, he suggested I find a new friend(s) at the starting line and stick with them.
Still planning on running alone I happen to mention the race during a phone call with my closest friend. We have been friends through the most difficult of trials. She told me that she had always wanted to run a mud race and would fly out and run with me. WHAT!!! Fly out and run with me. She IS the BEST friend ever. I must tell you, she is the type of friend that no matter how bad something is, a chat with her makes everything okay. It makes all the world right.
So, long story shorter, she flew out for 48 hours and we went running and swimming in mud, together.
5.5 miles later, I was a new woman.
In the mud, next to my best girl friend, I found my groove. It was around the first 1/2 mile that I could feel it coming back. I was strong, I was confident, I was laughing like I did when I was a child. Those deep gut laughs. I was not holding anything back. We ran together side by side, we slipped and slided in mud side by side, we talked, we scaled walls and swam under cargo nets. And when we swam through two huge mud pools to cross the finish line, I was different.
It sparked something inside that I have been looking for. My groove, it was back. In full force.
It wasn't the mud, the running, or the friend. It was all three.
Since the race that day there has been more clarity. I am more patient. My mind is clear. And there is a sense of strength and hope and faith that was growing weak. When I look in the mirror I recognize myself again. I am more comfortable with myself. I know I do hard things. But this was a different type of hard thing, and I did it.
I don't know if you have ever lost your groove?
I do know that as women and as mother's and as daughters of God, we are special. And sometimes amidst the house and diapers and dishes and husbands, we loose sight of that. We don't mean to, it just happens, secretly. It sneaks up on us.
I do know that a little individual, push yourself to the limits, laugh until you cry experience can help you find yourself again. What ever it might be for you, go try it, find it, do it. Even if it is scary. You will feel better. I promise.
And, if you happen to live in Utah, and have lost your groove. Might I suggest running in mud. Let's do it together. I have already signed up for the next race in September, because I have decided I need more regular reminders of who I am. For fear I loose my groove again.
Before the race, bright and early. Being silly.
Showing my husband the mud on my hands. He couldn't believe it.
There was only a few inches between the top of the mud and the cargo net. I just didn't want it in my mouth.
I was just hoping I didn't loose my shoes in the mud. There was no way we would have found them.
There we are, right behind the dance troop. And in front of the tie-dyed.
This was so fun, I ran back up the hill and slide down twice. Shhh, don't tell anyone. I don't think I was supposed to do that.
The end of the slip and slide. You just kept sliding down the mud hill.
Don't be fooled. That is not water. That is mud, mud, mud, and more mud.
I was happy and sad to get to the end. I wished we could have kept going.
Mountain of mud before the finish line.
See it, on my face? My groove, it is back baby!
What I found inside my shoes when I took them off. Yes, the socks started out white.
They were selling hot showers for 6 dollars, instead of the ice cold showers. My friend bargained, 2 for 10. Almost felt as good as my first shower after having babies.
Have you ever lost your groove?
How did you get it back?
DON'T MISS THE FOLLOW UP POST, WHERE I SEND YOU SOMETHING TO HELP YOU REMEMBER TO KEEP YOUR GROOVE!
DON'T MISS THE FOLLOW UP POST, WHERE I SEND YOU SOMETHING TO HELP YOU REMEMBER TO KEEP YOUR GROOVE!
