Let's Talk Bums. Yep, let's talk about your bum.

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Cottonelle.

Bums and bathrooms are not a topic I love to talk about, unless we are talking toilet training and 2 year olds. (Which we have covered here on FV before. Want help with your toilet training? Check out Toilet Training Part 1 and Part 2). So the thought of chatting about bums and big people is a little, well, out of my comfort zone.

But...

A few months ago our family was introduced to a fantastic new product that your family should know about.

SO stick with me, we are talking bottoms, bums, rumps, and backsides today on Family Volley.

Our household has been trying to save money. We are always trying to save, but we are getting more and more serious about it as our kids are getting older and their activities cost more money. One of the things I can't stand spending money on is toilet paper. Why? Because you just throw it away. Ugh! But at the same time you just can't live without it.

We attempted to save on the less expensive brands and found that our kids struggle to use toilet paper that is too thin. So it is one place where we have a few standards.

Then, I was introduced to the Cottonelle Care Routine. The routine consists of using toilet paper and a wet flushable cleansing cloth to give you clean you can really feel. Now, I know that for our kids, wet wipes by far work the best and get them the cleanest. This is not just the case with their bottoms, but wet wipes work the best for dirty faces, dirty hands, and even dirty feet. I know that cars get much cleaner when you use water with the towels and soap, and our dishes get much cleaner when I use water to wash them, not just a dish towel. And my body gets cleaner when I use water with the soap.

Makes perfect sense that it would work the same way with adult bums too? Come to find out, it does. And, on top of that, our family uses a ton less toilet paper. A ton. The flushable wipes have cut our toilet paper usage in half. Especially with the kids. (They tend to use a lot of toilet paper to get clean.)

The Cleansing Cloths are available in a sleek, newly designed, upright dispenser, which looks inconspicuous, even in our guest bathroom)

Now, I will admit, I have swiped a few wipes from our kids over the last 11 years. And when I help take girls to camp for our church, wipes are a staple for a week in the dirt, but, the kids wipes always feel so wet to me when I use them "down there". I cringe a little when I use them because of it. This was my first concern with the Cottonelle Flushable wipes also. I didn't want to be left wet. TMI. Sorry.

Imagine my excitement when I realized these weren't too wet at all. They were comfortable and easy to use, time saving and money saving. Not to mention, they really help the kids keep clean too.

I can also see them being a heaven send if you have just had a new baby. Bathroom after babies just isn't fun, no matter how you look at it.

Enough bum talk for one day. If you are looking for a way to clean up your bathroom routine, look no further. Nothing will leave you feeling cleaner and fresher than the Cottonelle Care Routine. I now know from personal experience. And I am a believer.

SO.. would you consider using a cleansing cloth?

P.S. Cherry Healey, who is gutsy enough to talk about anything, is getting people talking about how they "wipe". You have to check her out. She is a superstar to take on something so personal. Maybe if I had her accent, I would feel more confident about talking about the topic.

Cottonelle wants to get you talking about your bum and on a better way to clean “down there” by using the Cottonelle Clean Routine. By combining the use of Cottonelle Toilet Paper and Cottonelle Flushable Cleansing Cloths, the Cottonelle Clean Routine is a revolutionary way to keep your bum cleaner.

Are you ready? Don’t be shy! Visit http://www.facebook.com/cottonelle to learn more about the Cottonelle Clean Routine and join the clean routine conversation.

This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Cottonelle.

Toilet Training - Part 2

Yesterday gave us some helpful guidelines to follow when it comes to preparing your child for toilet training, and also helping you to gauge if your child is ready to be trained. Now, for today. 

Recognize, that no matter what the age, but especially if you are struggling to train an older child, it is usually not about their ability to be trained, it is about CONTROL.

We can control or force everything upon a child, but, Going to the bathroom is the one thing that children have ultimate control over. Ultimate Control. They decided where and when they will go, and there is little, if anything that we can do about it. Some children will hold on to this for as long as they can. The child feels like they don't have control over their lives so they try to gain control by hanging on to the one thing they are ultimately in charge of. Their bowels. It gives them control over something, and they know that, and it gives them attention and power. Refusing to train is an outward expression of those inward feelings.

So how can we get kids to give up this control so that they can be trained? I offer two suggestions.

1. Give the child control in other areas. The goal is to have them feel in control of their lives. Give them two choices of what to wear in the morning, let them choose. Let them choose what they want for lunch. Let them choose their vegetables. Let them choose what park you will play at, or the routine they would like to follow for bedtime. Let them choose the jobs they will do around the house or where they want to sit in the car. Give them opportunities to lead and to be in charge. As they begin to feel control over other aspects of their environment they will relinquish control of their bowls.
2. Give your child more one-on-one attention. To a child who is seeking attention, it doesn't matter if the attention comes from positive or negative actions, it is still attention. When a child does something wrong, even if you scold them, you have had to "deal" with them, you have paid attention to them. Set aside extra time to be with your child. Time everyday to play, with no restictions, or interuptions. Let your child choose what they want to do. Pretty soon the extra positive attention will help them let go of the need to gain attention by being unwilling to train, or by going in their pants. They wont need you to change their diaper to get attention because they will be getting plenty of attention in other ways. 

Refer back to what we talked about yesterday with a stubborn child. If you have a child that is stubborn, use yesterday's techniques to deal with them before you try and train them.  

Next, as a parent, when you decide to train, stick with it. In many cases the parents were not committed to training the child and that is why it was unsuccessful. It sends mixed messages to your children if you are willing to go back and forth from diapers to underwear to diapers to underwear. Why are children going to put forth effort when they know their parents will just give in and let them go back to diapers? Parents need to be ready for toilet training also. Don't dabble in it. Wait until you and your child are ready to do what it takes and then go for it, don't look back. Stay the course. 

When a child becomes toilet trained it gives him/her great confidence and a feeling of mastery. These feelings will generalize into other aspects of their lives. They will have more confidence and desire to do things on their own, like feeding themselves and dressing themselves. This new confidence will buoy them up and push them to face new challenges and tasks. 

MY FAVORITE METHOD

Whether you are just starting to think about training a child, or you have a 5 year old who is long over due for "big boy pants", the best technique for toilet training is "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" by Nathan Azrin and Richard Foxx. You can find the book online or at your local book store. 

Not only does the method work, but your child is trained in a day, and oh how the stress is alleviated. It will be a pleasant experience for everyone involved. 

Much of what we have talked about in yesterday and today's posts comes from basic learning strategies that can be found in "Training in a Day", as well as most psychology books. These learning theories really work, and not just with toilet training. They are vital to raising children, regardless of the challenge. 

A word of advice. This method is successful, but it takes parental commitment. You must be willing to get the book and read it, know it, and then be prepared. You will need to committ a day to training. To staying home and teaching the method. When you are done, not only will you have a child who has dry pants and goes in the toilet, but they will be able to do it themselves, and they will be happy. It is wonderful. And remember, if you have an older child that you have tried to train without success, consider having someone else use this method and train them. Their father, or a close friend, even a responsible teenage sibling. Don't deviate from the process and you will see amazing results.

Disclaimer: Just because a child has been trained, doesn't mean they are perfect. Accidents can still happen. 


I have helped countless numbers of families use the method with 100% success. I have used it on two of our three children, and in the next few months will use it on our third child. I train them in the morning and by the afternoon, we are out running errands without diapers.


Anyone going to give it a try?
What ages do you usually train your children?
Any success stories with this method?


Happy Toileting
Family Volley

P.S. I uploaded a picture of our son sitting on the toilet when he was little, but couldn't bring myself to publish it. So... imagine a picture of a bald 19 month old little boy grinning ear to ear on the "pot" here.

Toilet Training - Part 1

Dear Family Volley,
...any tips on potty training a 3 1/2 year old who simply has decided she doesn't want to do it? 
Beth


Dear Family Volley,

What is the best age to begin toilet training?  My friend has a son and he is going on 4 years old and is still not toilet trained...I babysit him sometimes and I think he is too big to still be in diapers.

 Natasha M.

Dear Family Volley,

I have a boy who will be 5 in June.  He is my 3rd son and was my most interested in potty training and was trained the earliest.  Well...that was 2 years ago.  As I write this he sits in a diaper totally unphased and could care less about the potty.  I am absolutely at a loss as to what to do.  He is supposed to start kindergarten in the fall.  He is capable of doing it, but refuses.  His main problem is pooping in the toilet.  If he wears underwear it usually ends up in there.  I admit to having been frustrated and even punishing him in the past.  Now I have tried to give the control over to him, but I REALLY need him to go to kindergarten this fall.  He is a very strong willed boy and only does things on his time table.  Any suggestions??

Pooped in Vegas

__________-------------------_________________________

Dear Pooped in Vegas, Beth, and Natasha,

This is a very common question. Toilet training can be a nightmare, it can also go very smoothly and be a good experience. I offer understanding and solutions for this major problem of child rearing. In a TWO PART SERIES.

As far as age goes, yes Natasha, 4 is too old to still be in diapers. In fact research shows us that mothers report that as a child grows older, the lack of tiolet training causes progressively greater strains and tensions on family life, and on the mother/child relationship.

Also, when you have older children who are not yet toilet trained, this usually means that there have been past attempts that have failed. Past failures can lead to children deliberately "going" in their pants as a means of getting attention (we will talk about this tomorrow), and when a mother sees that her child is wet again she usually doesn't shout for joy, but instead communicates disappointment to the child, who then starts to feel that they are no longer a source of happiness to their parents, but instead frustration. There can be a great deal of baggage in the mother/child relationship if past attempts have failed. If you have experienced a number of unsuccessful attempts at toilet training a child, it is a good idea to consider having another person teach your child (this could be their father, close friend etc.)

Handling toilet training in the wrong way can lead to parents having to "mend" hidden damage.

The goal is not just to get children to go in the toilet and not in their pants, but to teach children to go to the bathroom themselves, with the same independence as an adult demonstrates, and without the need for reminders and continual assistance. 

So today, let's cover some things that parents can do before they toilet train to help kids get ready, as well as ways to know if your child is ready to be trained.

First, When your child is very young (12 months +), there are a few things you can start to do. 

• Have your child learn to assist in dressing and undressing him/herself. Especially in pulling their pants up and down. Even though they probably won't be able to do it alone, encourage them to be a part of the process. For example, begin to teach them how to pull their pants up, once you have helped them get their legs in the holes and put them on.
• Teach your children the meaning of the words that you plan on using to train them, and be consistent. Words like wet, dry, sit down, and stand up. Also decide and then start using the words you prefer for the actual poop and pee. Will you say potty, pee-pee, some other name. Decide and then use those words. Be sure you and your husband use the same words so there is not confusion.
• Let your child watch you and other family members use the toilet. While they are watching point out what you are doing. "See I am pulling down my pants, to go to the bathroom." Let them lower the seat when you are done and flush. Show excitement for their help.
• Teach them to follow your instructions. Children very young are able to follow directions. Give your child instructions to do something and do not let the instructions go unfulfilled. Praise them when they follow your directions and don't let tantrums discourage you.  

There are also some simple tests that can help you gauge if your child is ready to be trained. Most children 20 +months, are capable of being toilet trained. Keep in mind though that every child will be different. Three simple tests can help you assess readiness.

1. Bladder Control

• Does your child urinate (go quite a bit) at one time, or is it more dribbling throughout the day? 
• Does your child ever appear to know he is about to go to the bathroom, facial expressions, gestures, etc?
• Does your child stay dry for a few hours at a time?

If your child does all three, then they have passed the bladder control test. Even if he/she doesn't do the second one, they might still be ready, not all children will give visible signs that they are about to go. 

     2. Physical Development

• Can your child walk from one room to another with ease and without help or assistance?
• Does your child have enough hand coordination to easily pick up objects?

If you answered yes to the above then your child is has enough physical development to be trained. 

    3. Instructional Readiness

To determine if your child can follow directions and understands, ask them to do the following. 

• Ask them to sit in a chair
• Ask them to touch their nose, eyes, mouth, hair
• Ask them to stand up
• Ask them to follow you to another room.
• Ask them to imitate you (anything will work)
• Ask them to bring you a familiar object
• Ask them to put that object with another object (will you put your block on the chair).

If they can fulfill most, 5 or 6 of the 7 then they understand direction well enough to be trained. 

If you child doesn't pass the "instuction test", you will want to work with them before training them. They might just be to young and not have sufficent vocabulary yet. You can teach that to them very quickly. 

If they are older, and/or they have sufficent vocabulary, then it could be that they are just being stubborn. If you know that they understand what you have said, but still refuse to carry out your instructions, you will want to address this before you begin to train them. If stubbornness is the problem, you can't really depend on age to solve the problem.

How then do you teach a stubborn child to follow instructions? Some tips...

1. Give instructions only when you are next to the child.
2. Make sure you have the child's attention before you give instruction.
3. Provide gentle manual guidance within one or two seconds after an instruction is given if the child does not start to follow the instructions on their own.
4. Give enthusiastic approval as soon as an instruction is followed.
5. Do not give a second instruction until the first one has been completed.
6. Don't let a temper tantrum deter you from seeing to it that the instruction is followed.

Use these rules as you go about your everyday tasks, simple things, like asking them to pick up a toy, putting their shoes in a certain place, etc...

When you feel they are following instructions give them the readiness test again. If they pass, then consider them ready to toilet train.

Tomorrow...Toilet Training Part 2

• What do control and toilet training have in common? EVERYTHING. How to get kids to give up the control.
• Parental Commitment. Don't turn back.
• How a child's independance will generalize to other areas.
• My favorite method for toilet training children, I will share it with you.

Family Volley