Note to Self...Each One is Different

Don't let the similar faces fool you...They are complete opposites. 

My husband and I have spent the last two hours talking about our kids. This isn't unusual. We have sat and talked about our kids since we met, before our kids were born. Lately though, our conversations have changed. There is less talk about "the kids". Instead the conversations are very child specific.

We usually start with the youngest. She has the least complicated life. After all, she is only two. Then we go up from there. It takes time because although they carry the same genes, they are very different. This becomes more and more apparent as they grow.

They have their own strengths and weaknesses.
They have their own hopes and dreams.
They have their own understandings and confusions.
They have their own struggles and temptations.

They need attention for different things, and they need us to recognize them in different ways. 

They need to be loved the same but different.

As parents, for us to be successful, we continue to realize how individual our actions need to be. Lumping our kids together means we are missing out on what they need and how they need it.

Being a parent is a catch twenty two. Developing an ability to see what your family needs as a whole, while seeing each individual family member as an individual takes work, and faith, and patience. It takes discernment and insight.

It takes a lot of those late night, long conversations where you think and think and pour your heart out about your kids.

You see yourself in each of them. Good and bad. You want them to have experiences, but you want to spare them pain.

Above it all you want them to be happy, to know who they are, what they believe in, and that you love them more than words can ever, ever begin to describe.

You want them to know that it is their differences that you love as much as their similarities.

ARE YOUR KIDS DIFFERENT?
WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR KIDS DIFFERENCES?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY - Swedish Twister

SWEDISH TWISTER

Twister, YES. 

From Sweden? I don't think so. 

Fun? Absolutely.

Object of the Game

Be the last one standing.

Don't fall or touch the ground. 

Number of Players

Three or More

Materials Needed

Nothing , but play without shoes. 

How to Play

1. Players stand in a circle shoulder to shoulder.

2. The first person to start, takes one foot and touches either foot of their neighbor. 

3. Their neighbor must then move the foot that was touched to touch one of his neighbor's feet, without moving his other foot or falling over. (SO...what ever foot is touched, is the foot that has to be moved).

4. Everyone continues to take turns around the circle. If you fall or touch the ground, you are out. The last person standing, wins. 

RULES

1. You must go around the circle in the same order every time, and touch your original neighbor's foot even if they far away from you. (And they will end up far away from you). Even if your standing order gets mixed up (and it will). The only exception is when your neighbor falls and is out of the game. When this happens you move to the next person in the original circle. 

2. If you fall, or touch the ground with anything other than your feet, you are out. 

3. You can hold on to each other for support, but feet must remain in place at all times unless they are touched by your neighbor. If, while holding on to your neighbor, they fall and so you fall, you are still out. 

4. Your feet have to stay in the same position you placed them in. Awkward or not. NO pivoting or swiveling, readjusting, or turning. 

P.S. I would love some happy news. Share with me what you are doing this weekend. Pretty Please!?

GIVEAWAY!!! and a NEW SPONSOR.

I am really excited to introduce you to the newest Family Volley Sponsor. 

And AN AMAZINGLY UNIQUE GIVEAWAY!!!

Scroll Down for the giveaway.

Kimber Nelson is the woman behind Soul Spark Coaching. She is also a single mother of a fantastic teenage son. She has dedicated herself to helping adults work through everything from career choices, weight loss, finances, relationships, as well as spirituality and happiness. 

Her goal, to help you live a more fulfilled life. 

Have you ever heard of Life Coaching?

Let's let Kimber tell us what a life coach is, in her own words.

ADHD Life Coaching- What is it?

“I am an ADHD Life Coach.” The response when I utter this phrase is always fascinating - most often I am met with a quizzical look, followed by the “What is that?” and “Why did you get into that?” questions. These responses are completely understandable, since ADHD Coaching has just recently started to receive more media acknowledgement and renown. However, I do always find it challenging to fully convey the incredible impact coaching can have in the short bullet point response that most people are looking for. Life coaching is one of those things that is never truly understood until personally experienced with a great coach.  Nonetheless, I will do my best to summarize it as much as possible onto paper in return for a small amount of your time.

Let me answer the WHY question first, as it comes down to a simple answer. Many of the most amazing people that I know have ADHD, and they open up my world with their creativity and passion. Coaching supports them in reducing their unique struggles and allows them to show their true, amazing selves on a more consistent basis. I can think of nothing that is more valuable than that.

Now on to the WHAT question, ADHD Life Coaching mixes the values of all Life Coaching with the additional awareness of how ADHD is affecting you and teaching effective coping strategies. A coach will help you identify the changes you want to make in your life, and will support you in building realistic plans that align your actions with your intentions. You can create lasting changes when you are open to learning new things, and can go where you previously thought impossible, by facing your fears and taking action.

You can create structure out of chaos, simplify your life with time management and organizational skills, and utilize your strengths to reduce your challenges. Not sure what your strengths are? Not to worry, we will discover them together.

To some, this may sound a bit like therapy so I want to share one of my favorite metaphors;

A psychiatrist is an engine rebuild specialist,

A psychologist/therapist is a tune up specialist,

And a coach is a driving instructor.

 As you can see, each of these can be very valuable at certain times in life. If you are at a time where you know there is more to life and more to you, coaching is a great option to explore.

READY FOR THE GIVEAWAY?

Kimber is offering: 

AN HOUR OF FREE LIFE COACHING.
You Heard Right.
AN HOUR OF FREE LIFE COACHING.

This is an unbelievable opportunity. You can talk about anything and everything you want.

REQUIRED ENTRY: Leave a comment on this post. Any comment. If you are feeling really brave, tell me what you would talk about with a Life Coach. If you can narrow it down to one thing. :) 

EXTRA ENTRIES: Today, every extra entry is worth 2. WaHoo. (Leave a separate comment for each entry.)

• Like "FindYourSoulSpark" on Facebook. (Worth 2: Leave 2 comments). She has a great following and fantastic posts.
• Follow Family Volley through RSS or GFC. (Worth 2. Leave 2 Comments). If you already follow, just tell me so. Click "Subscribe to FV" on the sidebar, or "Follow" on the top toolbar. 
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• Follow Family Volley on Twitter.
• Post about this giveaway on your blog. (Worth 2. Leave 2 Comments).
• Post about this giveaway on Facebook. (Worth 2. Leave 2 Comments).

 In addition, Kimber is also offering a 20% discount to the first 5 people who email her the word ACTION.

Want to attend a FREE Life Coaching Seminar? 

Kimber has partnered with the Neurology, Learning and Behavior Center to offer free Introduction to ADHD Coaching seminars. Go to her website to find out more details and register.

www.FindYourSoulSpark.com
www.Facebook.com/ADHDTeenCoach
801-769-6360

Kimber loves art galleries and going to any and all performance and sporting events. In her spare time she likes nothing better than a new book- her bookcase is currently surrounded by piles of books waiting for her to break down and get another! She is also a certified Professional Life Coach through the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) and as an ADHD Life Coach through Jodi Sleeper-Triplett (JST Coaching).  She is a member of CHADD, the International Coaching Federation (ICF), ADHD Coaches Organization (ACO) and the Attention Deficit Disorder Association (ADDA). Kimber works with Parents, Adults, Teens and College Students with ADHD who are looking to live a less stressful, more balanced life. 

Easing the Burden of Being the Oldest Child

Our older daughter is usually flattered by the attention our youngest is constantly giving her. We all know, that can wear off. Our daughter, a great big sister, also needs her space.

It is hard being an older sibling. All the compassion in the world still makes it hard to be followed around and imitated by a two year old all day.

We can help by making things easier for our older children, which in turn will make the situation better for our toddler also.

Be Empathetic

Acknowledge that you understand how your older child feels. Let her know that you're there to listen. Let her air her grievances. In particular, let her know that it is normal for her to feel frustrated and angry and irritated with a younger sibling. Be sure she understands that you are not mad at her because she is frustrated.

Use personal stories so that she understands that she was a toddler once also, and that she loved to imitate you, or her older sibling. 

Using personal stories has been the best way to help our daughter (and son.) One day when our daughter was frustrated I sat down with her and told her how I felt when my younger brother imitated me, and followed me around trying to play all day. I explained to her that "Imitation is the greatest form of flattery" and explained why younger siblings want so much attention from older siblings. It really opened her eyes to the situation and made things easier. 

Protect Your Older Child's POSSESSIONS

Your oldest should be confident that her toys and special things are safe. Be proactive. Help her keep her special things in special places so little hands can't reach them. It is also a good time to teach her to put things away when she is done with them so they can't be broken or ruined. 

If little hands do get a hold of the "untouchables", don't get mad. They don't know any better. Take a minute to explain that they need to ask permission to play with big sisters toys. If your older child wants to share, great, but if not, remove your younger child and get them involved in something else. 

Protect Your Older Child's PRIVACY

Make sure your older child gets some privacy. Some time to themselves. A great time to do this is when your younger child is sleeping. Feeling like they have their own time will make it easier to share and play with the younger sibling when they wake up.

Don't Expect A Babysitter

Your oldest will resent you if you are expecting her to always entertain her younger sibling. Or, if you expect her to include her younger sibling while playing with her friends. If she wants to include her, or watch her, great, but don't put pressure on her and expect it. 

I find myself guilty of this. I have said more times than I can count, "Can you just play with your sister while I take care of this." We have to be careful.

Don't Expect Them to Give In

We should not pressure our older siblings into "giving in" to their younger siblings. They are not in charge of keeping the peace and giving up their rights just because they are the oldest. If we put this pressure on them, they will start to feel punished because they were born first. 

Being Older Is Great

Put together games and activities that let your older child be in charge. It will make it more fun to play with younger siblings. A favorite in our house is playing school, or church.

Our oldest daughter sets up the school room, homework, chalkboard and all. Our younger daughter loves to be the student. It makes her feel big because she is going to school just like her brother and sister. Our oldest daughter feels important because she is the teacher and in charge. Put together opportunities where they feel important because they are older, not punished. 

Remember that we don't want to micromanage. Set rules and guidelines and let your children work things out themselves also. There will always be arguments and disagreements, that is normal childhood. Just be sure that if it turns to hitting and tears, you step in. 

Lots of hitting and fighting going on? 

Check out Can't we all just get along, and Do your kids fight? ...Trick Question for great advice on how to handle it. 

DOES YOUR OLDEST COMPLAIN ABOUT THEIR YOUNGER SIBLINGS?

HOW DO YOU MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR YOUR OLDEST?

For Japan: A Day of Silence

No Regular Post Today

Family Volley is joining the thousands of other blogs that will be silent today. 

One day, no posts. In an effort to support Japan.

Japan: How To Talk To Your Children About Disasters

There is no denying it. The people of Japan are on all of our minds.

As parents these tragedies put us in a tough spot. Not only are WE trying to make sense of them, but we have children around us that are also catching glimpses of what is happening and overhearing conversations about the devastation.

It is natural that our children will have questions, worries, and concerns. It is really important that we don't brush their concerns and emotions aside.

When there is tragedy or disaster, we need to maintain a normal household routine. As part of that routine, keep your children active and encourage them to participate in recreational activities. It is natural for all of us to want to hibernate when there is tragedy. Getting out and being active will do far more to help us cope and heal.

Reassurance is really important when helping our children. Answer your children's questions honestly, but don't dwell, or emphasize the scary details. Don't let the subject take over your lives, or dominate your family time. That also means that having CNN on 24 hours a day, showing photos and video of the disaster is too much for children. In all truth, it can be too much for us also.

Recognize that as adults, we will also have our own reactions and response to tragedy. Don't over look that you might be coping also.

How to talk to your children after tragedy and disaster. 

• Don't be afraid to admit that you don't have all the answers to their questions.

• Provide opportunities for your children to talk about what they are seeing on television and to ask questions. 

• Continue to provide opportunities for your children to talk. They will have more questions as time goes on.

• The tragedy has the potential to bring up other fears that your children might have. Discuss these issues also. 

• Answer your children's questions on a level that they can understand. Simple words and explanations work best. Keep the facts appropriate for their age. Don't include more facts then necessary.

• Don't use the tragedy to instill fear, in hopes of teaching a lesson.  

• Explain to your children that there are no bad feelings or emotions. What they are feeling is normal and OKAY. Encourage them to express their concerns and feelings to you and even other adults (teachers, grandparents etc..) who can help them understand their feelings.

• Monitor what your children see on television. Limit your children's exposure to graphic images. Don't let your children watch coverage of the event unless you are with them. That way, when questions arise, you can be there to answer them and you know what they have seen. 

• Point out the good. There are always stories of hope amongst the tragedy. Find them. Talk about them. Heroes, families united, survivors. 

• Use the tragedy as a time to work on your own families preparation. Do you have an emergency plan, 72 hour kits? Does your family know what to do if there is a fire or earthquake? Do your kids know how to call 911? Simple preparations will comfort you and your children. They will feel stronger and in control because you and your family are more educated and prepared. 

What if talking isn't enough?

• Stay active. Get out of the house and play. Go to the park, go for a walk, go bowling, anything. Let your minds and bodies feel strong and happy and free. This comes through recreation. 

• Find ways to help those affected by the tragedy. 

• If you and your children are more directly affected by the tragedy or disaster, intervention might be required.

• Your family might want to consider counseling. Traumatic events can bring out major fears in children. At the top of the list, loosing their parents. If you are coping, and struggling to give your children the help they need to cope, look for help.

• Modifications might be necessary. Explain the problem to teachers and make modifications at school. Keep your routine, but slow down a little. Read a few more stories before bed, leave your child's door open at night (if it is usually closed) or get a night light.

• It can be scary for parents to leave their children alone after a traumatic event. It is natural for parents to spend more time with their kids. If you are unable to leave them, and it is becoming a problem, consider seeking help.

• Enlist the help of other adults and teachers. Teachers can be especially helpful with our children, encouraging appropriate conversations and in class presentations.

Is your family coping with the loss of a loved one? This tragedy affects us all. Here is some help when the tragedy hits closest to home. All the advice can be used as your family makes sense of the situation in Japan also. 

HAS THE TRAGEDY IN JAPAN AFFECTED YOUR FAMILY?

HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY COPING?

Toys for the Terrific Two's

A few weeks ago we talked about how contrary to popular belief, the Two's can be Terrific.

We have a two year old in our house right now. She is busy and curious and expressive. She loves to be independent and watches EVERYTHING her older brother and sister do. She finds so much joy and excitement in her accomplishments. She always wants to be learning and doing and trying.

That said, Entertaining a two year old can be a challenge.

Our focus for our two year olds should be on providing activities that help kids learn about what grown-ups do. Like, housekeeping, cleaning, work, play, caring for children, yard work, laundry etc.

Activities that teach kids how things work like numbers, shapes, patterns, buttons, zippers, dials and knobs, and cause and effect.

Don't forget about the activities that foster creativity. Arts and Crafts, music, and dress up.

Here is a list of some of the best toys for your two year old. 

Dolls-especially dolls that can be fed, bathed and diapered. Stay away from dolls that need excessive wardrobe changes. Two year olds don't quite have the coordination to dress and undress.

Toddler tape player or music player

Spools and Beads to String-you can find these at your local craft store.

Lacing Boards-You can make your own. Take some heavy cardboard and punch holes in patterns. Have your toddler sting a shoelace through the holes.

Trains, trucks, cars and airplanes-don't consider them boy toys, let girls play with them also.

A "balance beam"- simply place a narrow board on the ground. Let your toddler practice walking on the beam to improve their balance and confidence.

A mirror.

Musical instruments- Horns, microphones, drums, maracas, shakers, cymbals, tambourines, small horns and whistles. Anything that makes noise will work. You can even make your own. Fill a paper cup with beans and tape another paper cup on top. Start shaking.

Toys for the water- Be sure you have some that float, squirt, pour, and can be filled with water. Alphabets that stick to the wall in the tub are really fun also.

Finger puppets- Great for imagination.

Alphabet blocks and magnetic letters

Abacus- we gave our two year old this one for Christmas. She loves it.

Wooden puzzles

Dress up clothes- These don't have to be elaborate or store bought. Scarves, bandannas, aprons, old shirts, different hats, bags, tutus, necklaces, as well as random objects sitting around the house.

Books Books and more Books- Board books are perfect for this age. They like to carry books around, and are learning to be soft with the pages. Give them their own book bag and Read to them, and encourage them to sit and read.

Arts and Crafts- Clay (which I prefer to play dough), crayons, colored paper, colored pencils, paints and paint brushes, feathers, pompoms, scraps of ribbon and fabric, and stickers.
Our two year old loves glue sticks. She is very careful with them and I have to supervise, but she loves to take a piece of paper and "stick" smaller pieces of paper on top of it. She calls them her "homework." This little activity saved us in church today.

Building blocks- Wooden blocks, and Duplo's are our favorite. Be sure the blocks are large enough that they won't chock. Build a small structure and have your child try to build the same structure. They will learn hand eye coordination, colors, patience, just to name a few.

Shape Sorting Toys- Here are a few choices. 1, 2, 3

Climbing toys- two year olds love to climb. If you don't want them on your furniture and counters, it is important to not only teach them where to climb, but give them appropriate places to test their physical strength. Take them to local playgrounds if you don't have a small play set in your back yard. The fresh air will be good for everyone. If you are still living in cold, look for indoor play structures. Most cities have some sort of indoor option.

WHAT DOES YOUR TWO YEAR OLD LIKE TO PLAY WITH?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Don't Show Your Teeth!

OBJECTIVE: Be the last one in the game who hasn't shown their teeth.

MATERIALS: None needed

RULES:

HERE IS THE KEY:

You have to play the entire game without showing your teeth. If, at any point throughout the game, you show your teeth (even if it's not your turn) YOU ARE OUT. 

Have everyone sit in a circle.

Each player chooses a different fruit. 

They will keep the same fruit throughout the whole game. 

Go around the circle and tell everyone what fruit you selected. Go around once or twice to get familiar with the fruits people have chosen.

Choose someone to start the game. 

The first person states the name of their fruit TWICE and then "passes" it to another person by saying the name of that person's fruit TWICE.

For example: If I am "apple" and my husband is "banana." I would say "apple apple, banana banana." 

The person that just got called "receives" it by saying the name of their fruit TWICE. They are now in charge and must say someone else's fruit TWICE to pass it along. The same process is repeated over and over until there is a winner. 

For example: Once I said "banana banana" to my husband, he would then say "banana banana" (to receive, and then another fruit twice to pass) "grape grape."

Continue to play and pass the "fruit" until someone shows their teeth. When they do, they are out. Shrink your circle and keep playing until there is only one person left who hasn't shown their teeth. 

NOTE:

Try to make people laugh to show their teeth. You can do that by saying your fruit in a weird voice, making a funny face, etc. You just can't physically touch the other players. 

You can also play that, If players hesitate to "pass the fruit" or they are not paying attention and forget what fruit they are and hesitate, they are out. 

You cannot cover your mouth with your hand, or anything else for that matter.  

VARIATIONS:

Change the subject. Instead of doing fruit, choose something like names of cities, candy bars, etc. If you are playing with small children, pick a subject that best suits them. This is a great way to reinforce what you are teaching them already. Use shapes and colors. 

Fruits are still the funniest. 

And children know fruits so it is not hard for them to play and remember what their fruit is. 

Have a great weekend.

Be sure you are following Family Volley on Facebook. (Click the link on the top of the right side bar.) Monday there will be a Facebook only Giveaway.

Imaginary Friends: What's a Parent to Do?

Yesterday I asked our 2 year old to head to the door so we could leave.
Her response, "I can't mommy, Maddie doesn't have her coat yet."

I wasn't sure what I heard, I didn't know she had a friend named Maddie. So I asked her to say it again.
"Maddie doesn't have her coat yet." she said.

"Oh, okay, well, lets get her coat so we can go." I responded.

Our daughter relayed the message to Maddie, and then walked to the car, hand in hand with her imaginary friend.

Although these playmates are new to our youngest daughter, they are not new to our house. Both our son and other daughter have shared their imaginary friends with us for a time. They have traveled with us, eaten with us, and read plenty of stories with us.

Imaginary playmates are very common. It is usually between the ages of 2 and 3 that they make their first appearance. Usually by the age of 5 or 6, the friends are no longer around. Although they won't admit it, most kids know that their friends are not real.

Kids use imaginary friends for companionship, imaginative play and support. 

Imaginary friends can be scary for parents. We are afraid that something is wrong with our kids or that they won't ever have real friends. Worry no more.
Research shows us that is not the case. Kids who have imaginary friends have plenty of real friends. They are creative, independent, cooperative with teachers and playmates and are very sociable. They can distinguish between real and pretend just as well as other children.

Why Imaginary Friends?
Think about what it must be like to be a toddler. Everyone always telling you what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. Older siblings and friends want your toys and you are always competing for attention. Who wouldn't want a friend who never takes your toys, does what you say, and never steals your attention?
Imaginary friends are the ideal companion.

They also serve as...
A protector (when they are scared)
A scapegoat (when they need someone to blame something on)
An outlet (to express emotions)

As parents, what should we do when imaginary friends show up?


1. Welcome and accept imaginary friends.
There is no need to continually point out to our children that their friends are not real. Be welcoming and go along with your children's requests for his/her friend. It is okay to pretend to pour the extra bowl of cereal. Don't really pour the extra bowl. The key: keep it in the context of pretend. Just like if the two of you were playing dolls or superheros.

2. Don't squelch the imagination.
It is really important for our kids to develop their imaginations. They will need it for the rest of their lives. Don't make fun of their imaginary friends or make them feel dumb for having them. Don't make their "friends" stay home when you go out. This type of response from parents can make children sink deeper into the pretend world. It can also make them feel silly, or wrong and shy away from imagining all together.

3. Don't initiate.
As parents, don't initiate. Don't ask if the imaginary friend is going to go to the store with you. Wait until your child initiates and then play along.

4. Don't let your child use her friend as an escape goat.
It is really important to not let your child blame their imaginary friend for wrong doings and get away with it. Children still need to be accountable for their actions and parents need to enforce the consequences.
When your child blames the mess on their "friend" don't dismiss it and clean it up yourself. Instead, tell your child that because they are friends, they can help pick up the mess. If they refuse, the imaginary game is over and you need to insist they take care of the mess.

5. Don't use the friend.
Don't use the imaginary friend to get your child to do what you want. It can come back to bite you. Saying that "Maddie wants you to eat your carrots." Or, "Maddie wishes that you would be nice to your sister." Some kids might play along just fine, but other kids might feel like you are taking over and they have lost control of their "friend."

6. Provide opportunities for your child to use their imagination.
Read books to your child. Encourage them to imagine what it is like to be the characters in the book. Also invite them to play pretend. Play games, play with dolls and superheros. Encourage playing dress up and acting like cooks, or cowboys, or any other character they are interested in. Play with them so they learn how to role play and make believe.

7. Spend plenty of time with your child.
Sometimes, kids make up friends because they aren't getting enough attention from their parents. Don't let the imaginary friend be a substitute for real parental attention or real friends. If you sense that is the case, evaluate the time you are spending with your child. Make a conscious effort to spend more valuable time playing and interacting with your child.


8. Provide an opportunity to express feelings.  
Often, kids don't know how to act in social situations, or how to communicate how they feel, so they use their imaginary friend to express those feelings, and to test the reactions of others as they act. As parents, if you recognize this happening, invite your child to talk about how they feel to you. Open the lines of communication.

9. Learn from the experience.
Imaginary friends can give valuable insight into how your child really feels. If the imaginary friend is hungry, it could mean your child is hungry. If the imaginary friend is scared of the dark and doesn't want to go to bed, it could mean your child is afraid of the dark. Listen to what your child's imaginary friend is saying and be open to the insights it might provide.

Having an imaginary friend is very normal. Unless your child is becoming withdrawn, and refusing to interact with others, you can usually rest assured that after a little time, the "friend" will be dismissed.

Until then, be open and kind to your families new friend. On the bright side, it's another child without going through labor.

DO YOUR CHILDREN HAVE IMAGINARY FRIENDS?
HOW DO YOU HANDLE THEIR IMAGINATIONS?

FAMILY FUN FRIDAY-Tim Tam Slam!

Our sunny warmer weather has once again given way to snow and cold. Just when I hoped it was gone, it is back.

SO,

 In honor of the storm, or in hopes that this will be the last snow storm of the winter (if only we were that lucky), we celebrated. 

Enter 

THE TIM TAM SLAM.

What is the slam you ask? Let me tell you. But be warned, once you have been hit by the slam, there is no turning back. 

What you need...

Tim Tam's

There is no substitute. You can find them at your local stores. SuperTarget, WalMart, grocery stores. They will be with the other cookies. (They have only recently hit stores in the US. You use to have to have a nice friend who would bring them back from visiting Australia.) The cookies come in chocolate cream and caramel. We like the chocolate cream. 

Hot Chocolate

Pick your favorite, but, any brand will work. Use what you have in the cupboards. Make enough so that everyone can have a cup.

Now...

Take a Tim Tam and bite off opposite corners. So your cookie looks like this....

This now becomes your straw.

Put the corner of your Tim Tam into the hot chocolate and start to suck the hot chocolate through the cookie.

Brace yourself. The hot chocolate will melt the inside of the cookie as you eat. It is really good. And really fun. 

Keep drinking through the cookie until most of its middle is gone.
Then, slam that cookie. AKA, eat it.
Grab another cookie to start again. 

And Again,

And Again.

And that my friends, is what you call the Tim Tam Slam.

Have a wonderful weekend.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A TIM TAM SLAM?

DO YOU HAVE SNOW AT YOUR HOUSE?

Help, my son is a slowpoke!

Dear Family Volley,
Our son is a slowpoke. It is impossible to get him out the door in the morning. It makes all of us late and I feel like we are always rushing and it drives me nuts. What can I do?

Thanks,
Mom of a Slowpoke
_____________________________________________________________________________
Dear Slowpoke's Mom,

You are not alone. This is a very common household problem. As a matter of fact, Our house has the same problem.

Remember, THE MORE WE PUSH AND PROD OUR CHILDREN, THE SLOWER THEY WILL GO. Sad but true.
The other thing to remember is that your son is not doing it on purpose, to drive you crazy. He is simply moving at his own pace. A child's pace. This is extra frustrating in the morning when you are trying to get out the door.

As parents, we have to understand that expecting our kids to move at our pace is unrealistic and unfair.

WHY?
Because,
Children are inexperienced. Getting ready and accomplishing tasks takes them longer than it does adults. We have years of practice under our belt, they don't.
Children are easily distracted. There are so many interesting things to look and play with between the breakfast table and his clothes up on his bed. Our son can find at least 10 different things to stop for. A child's shorter attention span makes it easy for him to forget that he should be getting dressed. He will literally take two steps from the table and find something distracting.
Children don't comprehend time. Young children live for the moment. They don't comprehend being late, hurrying, or all the things that have to be done to get out the door. They don't understand the time it takes to eat, dress, pack up and drive to school. Time relations are not real to a child.

So what can we do to solve the slowpoke problems?
1. GET A HEAD START. If there is one thing that you can do to help the situation, this is it. I know, it saves me every morning. Be sure you get up before your child and get started on your own morning routine. My husband always teases me because I get up so early, but I have to. If I can get up and eat breakfast, prep food for the kids, gather my belongings for the day and start getting ready myself. The morning is better for everyone. My goal is always to get my shower taken care of before any of the kids wake up. Then I can pay more attention to helping our kids get ready. It takes away much of the rush. Plus, it gives me a few minutes to myself. Time to think and prepare for the day. As moms, the more prepared we can be for the day, the smoother the morning will run.

2. PREPARE BEFORE YOU GO TO BED. Before you climb into bed at night, take a few minutes to make sure that things are ready for the next morning. Pick out your children's clothes and think through what you are going to wear. Make lunches, pack up backpacks and round up shoes and coats. I like to go as far as setting the table for breakfast. They seem like little things, but they make a HUGE difference.

3. GIVE YOUR CHILD TIME. Expecting your son/daughter to jump out of bed, eat breakfast while they are putting on their clothes, and brush their teeth while they are packing their backpack, WILL NEVER HAPPEN. We should give our children at least an hour to get ready and take care of the morning routine. The more time they have to work with, the better chance you will have of getting out the door on time. And, giving them ample time means that you don't have to pressure them to hurry so much. Wouldn't that be nice?

4. KEEP DISTRACTIONS AT A DISTANCE. TURN OFF THE T.V.! Keeping the television off in the morning is the first thing you can do to keep your children on task and eliminate distractions. Consider keeping other distractions out of the way. Favorite toys next to his cereal bowl will not make him move faster. Put away any toys or books that would keep him from staying on task. Helping your child as they get ready will also eliminate distractions. Don't micromanage, but keeping them moving through the routine by doing it with them, will really help. The other trick that helps our family, is dressing our kids right when they wake up. We prep their clothes the night before and they roll out of bed and put them on. You will be amazed at how much time it will save you in the morning.

6. WAKE UP CALL OF LOVE. When you wake your kids up, take a minute to sit on the edge of their bed and give them some special attention. Give them a hug, ask how they slept, talk about something fun that will happen that day. This will create a relaxing environment and make your child much more cooperative as your start your morning routine. Remember, nothing is more powerful than love.

7. MAKE MORNINGS FUN. Turn on some music and dance from the breakfast table to the bedroom to get dressed. You don't even have to dance, just having upbeat music playing will help everyone pick up the pace.

8. BEAT THE CLOCK: A GAME. Make getting ready a game. Set a timer for each task that needs to be completed. Make sure there is plenty of time for the task to be done so your child goes to school feeling like a winner, not a looser.  Have your child race the clock. The goal is to finish the task before the buzzer goes off.

9. INVITE THEM TO BRING IT ALONG. When our kids are playing with a "distraction", the last thing they want to do is put it down and leave it behind. So, I ask them if they want to bring the book or toy in the car while I drive to school, or to where ever we are going. By the time they have gotten in, buckled up and we start driving, they don't care about it much anymore. It is a good way to make a transition that is more manageable for child.

10. SET REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS: Our kids are not going to speed up over night. The ability to move quickly and multitask (if that is a good thing?) comes with age and experience. We have to be realistic and remember that they are children, not adults. It is our job to help prepare them, and our lives, so that they can be kids, while preparing to grow up.

DO YOU HAVE A SLOWPOKE IN YOUR HOUSE?
HOW DO YOU GET YOUR FAMILY OUT THE DOOR ON TIME?